Some days, especially at the moment, it feels like I’ve already made my choice in life and now I have to stick to it- as if changing direction would be a failure that shuts the door on any possible future success. I work for myself, which brings freedom but also isolation. I ofton wonder if should I get a different job (something safer, more traditional?), travel, push forward with my business in the hope it grows into something fulfilling? I worry my clients might not be happy if I pivoted and moved away from my work, but living entirely at the mercy of other people’s expectations isn’t really living.
Writing this is my way of sorting through the noise in my head.
It’s nothing new to question whether you’re spending your time in the “right” way, or whether there’s something else out there that would be more exciting, meaningful, and fun. ‘The Grass Is Always Greener”, especially in your 20s, when your phone constantly shows people your age running companies, backpacking their way around the world, or winning awards in their field.
Your 20s can be lonely. The friends you grew up with are now scattered — some in long-term relationships, some climbing the corporate ladder, some travelling the world. Everyone is moving at a different pace, but nearly all of us are glancing over our shoulders, comparing our lives to someone else’s with rose tinted glasses on.
It comes down to this, life is a trade-off. Every decision means missing out on certain opportunities, for the sake of gaining others. The path you choose often looks simple at first- clear, exciting, pain-free… until you’re going through it and discover it’s more complicated than you imagined. You might feel the urge to change direction, pivot, or even go back to square one. That’s okay.
Part of what makes your 20s so overwhelming is that it’s painted as the decade where you’re supposed to get your career in order, find a partner, and set up your life. At the same time, it’s meant to be when you’re out exploring the world and “finding yourself”. How are you supposed to do both? It feels like you’ll either be a 30 year old who’s under-lived or a 30 year old who’s under-worked.
Here’s the comfort I hold onto: we’re still near the starting line, you can take risks. You can change your mind without destroying your future. Each so called “failure” is really a clue — one more step toward figuring out what does feel right. Even when something doesn’t work out, you’ve still gained skills, experience, and perspective. With this knowledge, it still feels scary and overwhelming. Reminding yourself that you are not alone in these feelings is helpful and every person travelling, working, or whatever else they’re doing- also has worries and stresses and uncertainty.
Maybe the real success in your 20s isn’t getting it all right. Maybe it’s having the courage to keep adjusting the course until it feels like yours.
ZF Health Collective 
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